Guilt

I have spent way too many years of my life fighting feeling guilty.

Guilt - I have discovered that this is what comes from trying to live life with my plate too full. Too many times I find myself trying to do it all. I have finally come to realize that I can't do it all.

When I was homeschooling the kids and working while trying to be a wife, mom, and homemaker I was always riddled with guilt. When I was at home, I felt guilty that I wasn't at work. When I was at work, I felt guilty that I wasn't at home. When the kids and I were just messing around at home, I felt guilty I wasn't teaching them. When I was teaching the kids, I felt guilty I wasn't just being their mom.

Basically, I was good at doing a lot, but not good at doing a lot well.

Hand in hand with the guilt, I often felt overstressed and overwhelmed. Little things would send me into a tizzy. I felt like I held the world, at least my corner of the world, on my shoulders - I felt responsible for everything.

I found myself overreacting to everything: Megan had a cough - I was sure it was TB, lymphoma, or something else deadly; Levi broke his arm - I was sure the x-ray would show bone cancer; Joel was slow to come out of the bathroom at a restaurant - I was sure he had been abducted; Brian was late coming home from work - I was sure he was dead in a ditch.

I was slowly unraveling at the seams.

Last summer after taking a step of faith and deciding to leave OB thereby drastically cutting back my work hours I noticed something dramatic. The guilt was gone. I had finally found for me a balance.

Last week, however, the guilt came back. Because of my occasional inability to say no, I found myself working three days in a row. Three days of the kids at home fending for themselves. I know they are old enough to, but still that's my job and for that I felt guilty.

It didn't take long for all those feelings to creep back.

The difference this time is instead of working harder to keep doing what I was doing thinking that would ease my guilt, I recognized the Holy Spirit working in my life prompting me to make changes.

I am thankful for this feeling of guilt - this conviction of the soul. I am glad that it is there prompting me to change the direction of my life and prompting me to clean off my plate a little.

This time I won't fight it; I will listen to it.

My Megan

Megan guarded a morning shift and the afternoon day camp shift at the YMCA today. She had an hour lunch break which made it work out perfectly for her to come eat lunch with me at work.

It made me very proud to see her carry herself in such a confident, grown-up manner. It also made me realize that she really is almost grown.

She's made a lot of changes over the last few years - more than just her hair! I'm pleased with the young lady she has become.



Megan at a car show her freshman year.



Megan with her friends her sophomore year.



Junior Varsity Cheerleader - sophomore year.



Emily and Megan (when her haircut was brand new)
at Senior Night the end of her sophomore year.



Varsity cheerleader - junior year.



Megan and her friends at the Junior/Senior - junior year.



My Megan - now a senior.

Iced Coffee

My new favorite summer treat is iced coffee. I love it at McDonalds, but it's just as good if I make it at home!

1 cup of coffee sweetened to taste (instant is fine)
milk
chocolate syrup
ice
Readiwhip

Make coffee to taste; pour into tall glass.
Add milk to almost fill glass.
Add chocolate syrup; stir.
Add ice and top with Readiwhip. Enjoy!!

Confessions of a Preacher's Wife

(Brian and I on a date last summer)

A friend of mine at work who is Catholic thinks it is fascinating that I am a preacher's wife. I guess because she is used to priests who obviously don't have wives, to her I am somewhat of an enigma.

When someone tells an off-color joke, she will cover my ears and say, "Don't you know she's married to a man of the cloth?" I know she is mostly just being silly, but it does make me stop and think. How do people view us preacher's wives?

Do people think we're perfect? Do people think we have no personal struggles/issues? Do people think we're aloof and unapproachable? Do people think we control our husbands and what they say? Do people think we look down on them? I have no idea. Maybe people think those things because nobody's told them to think differently.

Confessions of a Preacher's Wife

I never tell Brian what to preach.
I do make comments on his message after he preaches - both negative and positive.
I never wear a slip. I own one but I don't know where it is.
I always squeeze Brian's hand before he gets up to preach - my way of showing solidarity and support.
There are certain messages of his that I really don't like. I don't like it when he preaches through a list - he doesn't care that I don't like it; he preaches it anyway.
I accept Brian's authority over me - both as my husband and as my pastor.
I have no rhythm - clapping my hands is a challenge.
I want to be approachable.
I don't always feel like going to church. On the days I don't feel like going I go anyway because the Bible tells me I am to go.
I don't usually take notes when Brian preaches, but I always listen. Only if it is an emergency will I make out my grocery list during a message. Honestly, I haven't done that since he's been a pastor:)
I'm a good nurse but a rotten secretary.
My kids aren't perfect and I am aware of that. They occasionally get in trouble, don't always make straight A's, and I still love them and I am proud of them.
I am far from perfect - I would like to be perfect. I would especially like to have perfect hair.
I want everyone at church to like me, but I realize not everyone is going to.
My favorite books of the Bible are Hosea, Ruth, and the Song of Solomon - note the common theme.
Priests are celibate Preachers are not.
I am almost always the last one up on Sunday morning.
I occasionally use hand signals when Brian is preaching - slow down, move your mic, fix your hair . . .
I have loved Brian since I was 13 years old. I have talked to him every day for almost 25 years and he is my best friend.

I really do think most pastors' wives are misunderstood (maybe because they have never posted a confession list - lol). We are closely critiqued and judged even though most people only know one aspect of our lives - that of being the wife of their Pastor. Rarely, do people bother to get to know what we are really like - maybe they are afraid if they did they might like us.

Looking back on the pastors' wives that I have known, I'm sure I was quick to think I knew them and therefore quick to think that I could make assumptions and judgments about them.

She's so cold and unfriendly.
She's too silly and carefree - she needs to be more dignified.
She's eccentric - just plain strange.
She's perfect, absolutely perfect - she never has a bad day.
She doesn't care about the congregation - she's not really involved enough.

When Brian first accepted the position of Pastor, I had numerous offers from pastors' wives to "call any time." My first reaction was, "Okay, that's nice - but I think I'll be fine." I couldn't imagine what could be so hard about being a pastor's wife. Now, a little over a year later I see just how naive I had been.

Even though our ministry is still in its infancy, I think I have a better understanding of what most pastors' wives feel - and by being open and transparent with myself, I think I know how I feel as a pastor's wife.

It seems like just when an encouraging cool breeze blows my way (seeing spiritual growth in the Patch Club kids, hearing a positive comment about how the Lord used a message of Brian's to convict and change them, seeing Brian encouraged by conversations he has had) it is closely followed by a discouraging scorching heat (criticism of our ministry, negative comments on myself or my family, rumors that someone is thinking about leaving). It is these climate changes in the ministry that have been the hardest for me to get used to.

It is impossible to see my husband give of himself the way he does to a congregation and not in turn care for them myself. I can't count the late night hours Brian and I have spent concerned over and praying about church members.

It is impossible not to feel the sting when someone says "I'm just not being fed," after watching my husband deliver a message that the Lord laid on his heart and that he has spent many hours preparing. I have seen him with head bowed long into the night beseeching the Lord for just the right words He would have him say.

It is hard to turn the other cheek when I hear of whispered criticisms about myself and my kids. Like a mother hen I want to gather my chicks under my wings and protect them from this. Life under a microscope is guaranteed to reveal some "bacteria." I would just ask that those who whisper apply the same scrutiny to their lives.

It is hard to describe the compassion and concern I feel for church members even though I have only known them for a short period of time. So many times I see someone battling with an attitude or struggling with a sin that I have struggled with in the past - or maybe still battle. It is painful when my words of advice and concern to them are then unwelcome and resented.

It is a little difficult not to be jealous of the amount of time Brian spends thinking on church matters, future messages, and just church "stuff". Learning to share my husband taken some time but thankfully this jealousy can be kept at bay by keeping my heart right.

I am surprised that being a pastor's wife is harder than I thought it would be, more rewarding than I thought it would be, and more life changing than I thought it would be.

When I first started my blog I told Brian that I felt a little vulnerable sharing my personal thoughts and feelings. He told me it was natural to feel vulnerable anytime you were being transparent with people. He said he often feels vulnerable while preaching because it takes a certain amount of transparency. He also told me being transparent was sometimes necessary.

I know that the safest place to be is the center of God's will, and we truly feel it is God's will for us to be where we are. But the center of God's will isn't always the easiest place to be.

It would be easier to be opaque instead of transparent. It would be easier to be out from under the microscope. It would be easier not to be on the front lines. It would be easier to sit rather than stand. But that is not what we have been called to do.

A Dog's Life

Well it's official, Scooby can't ride in the car any more. Scooby will never be one of those dogs you see riding in the car - head out the window, ears flapping in the breeze, smiling as cars pass by.

Car trips for him are more like head hanging low, ears laid back, dry heaving in the backseat, drooling on whoever he's next to, and vomitting in whatever container we are lucky enough to find. Very unpleasant.

I thought he would enjoy a trip to Grandma's house. He enjoyed being there - even though Grandma made him stay outside. He just didn't enjoy getting there - or the trip back home.

Summer Reading

The house rule for the summer is no tv during the day - there are just too many other things all of us need to be doing instead of watching tv. We have multiple projects that need done and it's going to take all of us chipping in to get them done.

Brian and the boys' ongoing summer projects are cleaning and organizing the garage, thinning out our vehicles, and working in the yard. Megan and I are working on redecorating her room and trying to finish some half-done inside projects as well as just trying to keep the day to day things done.

In addition to working on projects, summer is a good time to focus on things that get pushed to the side during the school year. I like it that the boys have more time to play guitar and Megan has time to play the piano.

Just like I do every summer, I told the kids that I wanted them to read this summer. Megan typically reads several books during the summer. She enjoys historical books, both fiction and nonfiction, and fantasy. Levi doesn't read books necessarily but always has his nose in a magazine. He enjoys technical reading - he reads magazine articles and online articles about building things and working on things - Jeeps mostly. Joel reads comic books - just like his dad.

In order to encourage summer reading Brian bought each of the kids a book:

Megan - Evidence Not Seen: A Woman's Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II (Sounds like a good book - I will probably borrow it when she's finished.)

Levi - Whoosh Boom Splat: The Garage Warrior's Guide to Building Projectile Shooters and Backyard Ballistics: Build Potato Cannons, Paper Match Rockets, Cincinnati Fire Kites, Tennis Ball Mortars, and More Dynamite Devices (Typical "Levi reading" - I think I need to find the fire extinguisher!)

Joel - DC's Greatest Imaginary Stories" 11 Tales You Never Expected to See! (I'm sure Brian will borrow this book when Joel is done with it.)

Who needs television!

Think positive!

Cowboy Bob used to say, "If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." I thought about applying that to my blog today - "If you can't blog anything nice then don't blog anything at all."

But then I remembered what we used to do with the kids, primarily Joel, at suppertime. When Joel was younger he hated supper - it didn't matter what we were having, he hated it. Tired of hearing nothing but complaints at suppertime, I instituted a rule - no more negative comments instead everyone had to make three positive comments about supper.

So now instead of comments like "that smells bad" and "is my grilled cheese supposed to be black" we heard positive comments at the table like "my milk is cold" and "my fork is clean." Suppertime became much more pleasant for everyone.

Keeping with that thought, I have decided instead of complaining about my day, I am going to list three positive things about today.

1. Joel went with me to the grocery store which gave me an excuse to buy Reese Cups in the check out lane.

2. My argument with Levi on why he could not drive to Daniel's birthday party ended with Levi apologizing for arguing. Honestly, does he think I was born yesterday? Levi, Daniel, and Nick in town all night with a car at their disposal - I don't think so!

3. I still have a job after calling in sick two of my two scheduled days last week. Now I get to work tomorrow (insert smile - trying to be positive).

There, that was better than complaining!

What are you doing back there?

Now I know what goes on in the backseat during long car trips!

Life Savers

Megan had an exciting day yesterday - she had her first "save." She had to go in after a teenage boy bigger than her who had gotten into trouble after jumping off the diving board.

It sounds like she did everything textbook - even the stride jump! She told me, "Mom, I did the stride jump right! My head never went under water, and I never took my eyes off the kid." She swam over to him and pulled him up onto her lifesaving thing (I don't know what that thing is called) and then helped him get to the side. She said the only thing she forgot to do was blow her whistle before she jumped in. I'm so proud of her:)

Levi had a two-for-one save on Thursday morning during swim lessons at the YMCA. He said a 5 or 6 year old boy was in the deep end when his bubble belt broke. He started going under and a little girl next to him tried to help him by getting on top of him! Both kids were soon on their way down. Levi, who was already in the water swam over to them and pulled them out. Thank goodness he was paying attention!

There was a little preschool girl at the pool last summer who always called Levi her "lifesaver." She would tell her mom, "Mom, don't worry about me, my lifesaver is here!" This fall she was in kindergarten at Tabernacle. When she would see Levi in the hall she would say, "Hey, I know you. You are my lifesaver!"

Brian and Joel went out this morning in an attempt to do some lifesaving - more like introduce people to the THE lifesaver. Brian, Joel, and Adam went to Nashville to do some street witnessing. They came back encouraged by their contacts and ready to go again.

Rescue the perishing, Care for the dying,
Snatch them in pity from sin and the grave;
Weep o'er the erring one, Lift up the fallen,
Tell them of Jesus the mighty to save.

Rescue the perishing, Duty demands it;
Strength for thy labor the Lord will provide;
Back to the narrow way Patiently win them;
Tell the poor wonder'er a Savior has died.

Rescue the perishing, care for the dying;
Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save.

Fanny J. Crosby

Recital

Tonight is the annual Spring Recital for Mrs. Parker's voice students. This year is a little different in that she has recruited several people to be in a chorus. They are doing a few numbers from the musical The Mikado. I am playing the piano for 4 of those songs and Megan's German song (which she hates).

Brian sings bass with Levi in the chorus and Joel is my much needed page turner. At one point during the last song the VERY pregnant Mrs. Parker hits a high B flat - I don't know if she has her OB's permission to do that or not!

(Megan, Melanie, and Alison sing Three Little Maids from The Mikado at Sr. High Competition)

I am still having trouble believing that Levi agreed to a solo part in one of the songs. I was blown away at practice about a month ago when I heard him sing - he has an amazing voice! Levi used to sing all of the time when he was a toddler but as he got older he got more shy about singing.

One of our favorite memories is Levi playing with Batman and Two-Face in a toy Jeep when he was 4 or 5. He had asked us for a bad guy for Batman to fight, so we bought him Two-Face. The next day Batman and Two-Face seemed to be friends because they were riding in the Jeep together. We asked Levi what had happened. Levi said Batman witnessed to Two-Face and he got saved.

As Levi was pushing the Batman and Two-Face toting Jeep across the floor he was singing, "We're going to the mansion on the Happy Day Express. The letters on the engine spell J-E-S-U-S . . ." Thinking about that story makes me want to go kiss his now stubbly cheek right now!

Back from the dentist

Brian took the day off work yesterday to be with me at my dental appointment. And he was literally there with me.

As I have mentioned before I am not a very compliant patient. But what I didn't mention is that I am also a very uptight and anxious patient. I was getting a little panicky while I was sitting in the chair waiting for the dentist to come in - so I used my cell phone to call Brian in the waiting room. I thought talking to him while I waited would calm me down.

The problem was I could hear him but he couldn't hear me. The next thing I know, an employee is leading Brian back to my room asking me, "Is someone trying to use their cell phone?" Having been busted, I talked to Brian for a few minutes and then he went back to the waiting room.

I did fairly well until the second round of numbing shots. With these Dr. Really Nice numbed the inside of the roof of my mouth which instantly made me feel like my throat was closing. Breathing is very important to me. I can't stand to have a stuffed up nose - this feeling of a swollen tongue and throat was more than I could handle.

I think it was probably a culmination of 4 sleepless nights, pain, and my inherited anxiety issues that caused me to flip out to the extent I did. Dr. Really Really Nice went and got Brian out of the waiting room and let him stay beside me for the whole procedure.

Anyway, it's over. Hallelujah!

We watched a REALLY great movie yesterday afternoon - Facing the Giants. We've had it for weeks but have never taken the time to watch it. The message of honoring God with our lives and allowing Him to work through us what He desires was very well presented. What an uplifting and inspiring movie.

I think I cried more during the movie than during my oral surgery - well maybe not.

Keeping things in perspective

I am having some major dental work done tomorrow morning at 8am. I'm not looking forward to it to say the least, but I am looking forward to not being in pain.

I will be the first to admit that I am not a very good patient. I rarely take all of my prescribed medication, I usually don't follow doctor's orders, and I always wait until it's an emergency to be seen. I am everything I hate in a patient.

The dentist gave me a prescription for some high-powered antianxiety medicine that he wanted me to take before my appointment - but I don't think I'm going to take it. I think it would cause me more anxiety worrying about what the antianxiety drug was going to do to me than I would have just not taking it.

It's so easy to become self-absorbed - wrapped up in my problems. I schedule patients for procedures all of the time and rarely think twice about it. Biopsies, scopes, port placements . . . makes my dental work look like nothing.

I will try to keep this perspective at 8am tomorrow.

Happy

It is funny how the small things in life can make us happy. One night back when I was working in OB, I sat and made a list of the random things that make me happy - it's funny the things you think to do when you work a 12 hour night shift.

I haven't slept well the last two nights because of a bad toothache, so I have had a lot of extra time on my hands to think. While most of my thinking has revolved around, "Maybe I should go get that Vicodin prescription filled," and "I wonder just how much ibuprofen I can take before I get a GI bleed," I have thought about that list I made back in OB.

I know I kept that list, but it's probably filed away somewhere - maybe next to the kids' long lost Social Security cards (lol). Anyway, for what it's worth, I'm making a new list.

Things That Make Me Happy (List #2)
(in random order and by no means a complete listing of the things that make me happy)

my family - especially when everyone is home and no agenda
my bed
Walmart - when I want to be there
a clean house
walking through the house at night in the dark
lying on the trampoline
cats
Scooby - and Sam too
a good book(especially if it's a little steamy - I probably shouldn't admit that!)
the sound of Brian pulling up the driveway
cleaning products (not using them necessarily - just buying them)
taking a hot bath
having my feet rubbed
driving
Saturday mornings
candy bars in the checkout line
planning vacations
planning projects for the house - even if we never do them
watching Emergency Vets with Joel - watching him love it
the Food Network - Paula Deen
the beach
staying in a hotel - all of us
lying in bed listening to the ocean
talking with Megan
good food
ministering to my patients at work
nightlights
watching Levi become more like his dad
a good pair of flipflops
new pajamas
candles
sitting in bed doing my devotions while Brian is sitting in bed studying
wallpaper
taking pictures with my cell phone (well that used to make me happy - lol)
driving south on 37 at night and seeing the city lights
lying in the backyard with Brian and the kids watching for shooting stars
strawberries
clocking out at work
being snowed in (as long as everyone is home and there is milk and something chocolate)
pulling up the driveway and seeing the house looking so cozy
laying my head on Brian's chest
just being a mom
clean sheets - knowing I just put clean sheets on everybody's bed
lipstick
blogging
life right now
Not having a toothache!

Waiting for the right time

My grandparents were married for 8 years before they ever had children. My grandmother said she used to pray that a baby would be left on her doorstep. God heard her prayer for a child and eventually blessed my grandparents with 10 children!

My grandparents, as long as I can remember, slept in separate bedrooms. I'm not sure if they always had this arrangement - if so, that might explain the 8 years of infertility! But I'm assuming that wasn't the case.

In today's world, my grandmother would have been labeled infertile and probably would have been encouraged to seek the help of a RE. She might have undergone IUI, IVF and countless other procedures.

But that wasn't available in the 1930's. Instead, my grandparents prayed for a child. I don't know if there were "kitchen cure" infertility treatments back then (ie. herbs and such) that she might have used, but I do know that during those 8 years my grandparents opened their home to those in need and seemed to have a focus on serving others.

Because my grandmother didn't blog (lol), I have no way of knowing her thoughts during this time. I'm sure she was saddened by her barrenness, and obviously must have felt hopelessness if her prayer was for a baby to be left on her doorstep.

I don't know if a medical miracle occurred one day that allowed her to conceive - or maybe it was just finally the right time. God's time.

As I struggle with my diagnosis of unexplained secondary infertility, I wonder if maybe it just hasn't been the right time yet. Not God's time.

My experience with a RE and subsequent fertility treatments (monthly ultrasounds, blood work, Clomid, progesterone supplementation - oral, suppository, and injections, and one IUI) left me feeling hopeless and abandoned by God. I put all of my hope in procedures and medication. My life revolved around cycles, temperatures, follicle sizes, and lab values. I was constantly uptight and stressed out. When yet another cycle would end with disappointment, I was beyond devastated.

I found myself overwhelmed with the hopelessness of the situation, the helplessness of my own inability to change anything, and the bitter loneliness of soul that comes to one who stops looking toward and trusting in the Lord of all.

Things haven't worked out according to my time table, my plans, or my way. I have found out through this struggle that I can't manipulate God. I can in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let [my] requests be made known to God, but I can't make God do anything.

"God, will You please show me that You still love me?" I prayed. "I'm angry and frustrated. I feel like You don't care. Please show me that You really are in control of everything and that You really are for me. Show me Your love."

When I have asked Him to show me His love, He never has failed to do so.

"Be merciful unto me, O God. Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book" . . . this I know; for God is for me." Psalm 56

How does God come to a person in need, speak to her, and quiet her hurting soul? In my situation God has used late night conversations with a patient husband, the blog of a stranger, well-timed sermons on the radio, talks with a dear friend, a video of a rebellious and strong-willed dog, Patch Club lessons, and His Word.

Through all of this, I found that I hadn't been looking at Him. I thought God was angry and unkind to me . . so I was looking away - I was looking only at myself.

Why do bad things happen to good people - well, maybe we're really not so good. I know God has used this struggle and disappointment in my life to work good - but the refiner's fire isn't painless as it purifies.

I will continue to pray for another child and trust that God will bring it to be in His perfect time - who knows, maybe I will find a baby on my doorstep.

Practice what you preach

I do it every year - will I never learn? I preach "sunscreen, sunscreen" to the kids, but do I listen myself. Of course not.

After getting off work around 1pm I decided to spend the afternoon at the pool reading (Unveiled - a novella by Francine Rivers). It was a breezy 76 degrees and not a cloud in the sky.

My arms are now sunburned everywhere but the anticubital space (sorry - nursing term) from where they were bent holding my book. It doesn't look too bad as long as I walk around with my arms bent!

I contemplated taking a vinegar bath tonight - that always helps soothe the burn. But considering I don't have any white vinegar, my options would be a bath in apple cider vinegar which would probably leave me smelling like cole slaw.

I think I will skip the bath, take a healthy dose of ibuprofen, and go to bed.

Are you there?

I love cell phones! I have always said that Little House on the Prairie would have been much less dramatic if they would have had cell phones. When Pa was late coming home, Ma could have just called him and found out he was lost in the blizzard. Help could have been sent - Pa would be found and home in time for supper.

Now that both Megan and Levi are licensed drivers, I appreciate my cell phone even more. They know the routine "call me when you get there" and "call me when you are leaving."

Today, however, there was a glitch in our system. I was at work where my cell phone doesn't get reception because of the lead lined walls. The kids know when I am at work all of their checking in and out needs to be called to Brian.

Megan and Joel took Levi to work and should have been back home by 1:20pm. I called the house at 1:30pm. No answer.

I then called Brian and he told me he had given Megan permission to go to the library and Burger King. He said they should be home any minute.

I had a new patient in my room so when I got out it was 2:10pm. I called home. No answer. I called Megan's cell phone. No answer. I called Brian's cell phone. No answer. I called Brian's work number. No answer.

For me, nothing is worse than not knowing where my kids are. I remember once when Megan was around 11 or 12 we let her go to a friends house for the afternoon. I was 100% certain that I knew where this girl lived, but when we went to the house to pick Megan up it wasn't the right house. Panic set in. I didn't have this girl's phone number and now I didn't even know where she lived. I was literally sick when I realized that I had no idea where Megan was - I had lost her. Come to find out she was across and just down the road from where we had initially stopped, but it took us over an hour to find this out!

Today it ended up that Megan and Joel had gotten back home around 1:40pm. She had called Brian and told him they were home. She didn't hear her cell phone or the house phone when I called because Mother and Daddy had come over and they were standing outside talking to them. Our glitch in this case was Brian not answering his phone when I called because he was meeting with clients.

I am thankful for cell phones, but I am even more thankful for a heavenly Father who watches over my family day and night. He always knows where they are, and He answers when I call.

Let the Son shine in

Since Jane was in Texas today, I taught the lady's Sunday School class. I expanded on a chapter in the Bible study, That I May Know Him, that I have been doing.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:15

"Let" is a simple condition - but it is something that we have to do. Much like opening the window to "let" the sunlight come in, we need to "let" the sceptre of His peace rule our heart and life.

Too often we become discouraged as a result of our thoughts. According to Matthew 23:37, we are commanded to love our Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind. These passages show a promise that is given to us if we will focus on the Lord. Note what we must do for this promise to be fulfilled in our lives. That I May Know Him June Kimmel

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
The promise is perfect peace if we trust God.

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27 The promise is peace, different than the world's peace, if we don't let our hearts be troubled and fearful.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 The promise is peace which we cannot understand that will guard our feelings and thoughts if we are not anxious, and if we pray and ask with thankfulness.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 The promise is the peace of God if we not only think on right things but also do the things we know to do.

End of the day thoughts

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt - I read that somewhere. Well, I smell like dirt tonight. We planted flowers, cut grass, and worked outside all day today. The yard is starting to take shape - here's hoping the deer don't eat our tomato plants.

The boys got caught in a bad thunderstorm at the pool. After seeing lightening, Levi closed the pool and was locking up when a lady couldn't find her keys and made him go back and search the pool, deck area, and bathroom - all the while it was lightening over the lake! Since when is the lifeguard responsible for people's missing keys, and do people not understand the danger of being around open water when it is lightening? People are crazy.

Big news - Nick the 20 year old is in the basement watching a movie with Megan. Brian cracks me up - he is sitting on the couch with them! He is supposed to be putting the finishing touches on his message for tomorrow.

I wonder how much of tonight will make it into his message!

Counting my blessings

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings,
name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

1. Megan

2. Levi

3. Joel

Count your blessings,
Name them one by one;
Count your blessings,
See what God hath done;
Count your blessings,
Name them one by one;
Count your many blessings,
See what God hath done.