Brian left early this morning (3:30 am) in order to be at the airport by 4:30 am for his 6:15 am flight. He's attending his first pastor's conference and will be gone until Saturday evening!
I miss him - and for lots of reasons.
Here are just three of the reasons I miss him:
Everything and every decision is now up to me;
there's no one to put gas in the car; and
it's hard to sleep without him.
But actually one of the main reasons I miss him is because Levi and I need him - to be our mediator.
I swear some days when I look at Levi it is like looking into a mirror. Not necessary because he looks like me (please someone tell me if I have that much facial hair), but because he is like me -
strong-willed, determined, confident - yet a little withdrawn,
and easily frustrated.
and easily frustrated.
I admit, that's a set of character traits that takes some work to control.
Tonight Levi and I locked horns over the Jeep. It broke down Tuesday afternoon. Brian worked on it all day Wednesday and got all but one part put on before having to leave for his conference. Levi put the last part on this afternoon, and in his mind the Jeep is now healed of its infirmities.
However, I am just not comfortable with him driving it until Brian has test driven it and made the final decision that it is fixed. This is what Levi cannot understand.
I don't want to worry about the Jeep breaking down on the side of the road;
I trust Levi's workmanship on putting the last part on, but I'm not so sure what was fixed is the Jeep's only problem;
I would rather drive the kids to school and pick them up than worry about him driving them there.
He is confident the Jeep will not break down on the side of the road;
He is certain that these parts fixed the problem;
He doesn't understand why I worry.
I had to laugh tonight because all the while I was explaining my side of things, I totally understood how he felt. I could see his jaw twitch and his nose flair as he listened to my explanation of things.
I understand that he is reaching the age where a boy needs opportunities to be a man - this is an important process. I want him to desire to be responsible and independent.
But in the end, our conversation ended with, "The Jeep is going nowhere this weekend, because I am the mom and I said so."
With that he kissed me goodnight, and I watched my twin go upstairs.